My cuts keep opening upp.. It’s just annoying now, it’s been like 5 hours and they weren’t that deep.. Fuck you
If this girl ever dies before me, I’ll probably kill myself as soon as I find out about it. There’s only a few comforts left in this world and she’s one of them. The fact that I can just go visit her any time is so nice, and then when she dies, and I kill myself, I’ll be able to visit her anytime as well. A joint suicide with her would be great, but I don’t think she wants to do that. Jumping into the Grand Canyon with her would be the best time of my life.
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I need a reason to go to Home Depot so I can get blades. I feel like if I go into the store and get only them, it might raise some questions.
Anyone have any suggestions?
I need to get a good razor. I scratched at my skin with a pin today until it almost bled and it felt good. Now I have a mark on my wrist and thigh that is probably going to stay a while, but whatever. If I actually go and get a good razor I’ll have many more marks on my thighs soon :) and they’ll be in a good, well-hidden spot!! :) I can’t have people worrying about me!
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Okay, so I saw my girl last night and she helped me out a bit. I know now that I can’t commit suicide anytime soon. I’d like to, but I can’t. It would hurt way too many people and it really isn’t the answer to anything. I am going to get through this and hopefully find some way to enjoy my life.
LOL I got an email from Tumblr about suicide and shit hahaha
I’m going to see my girl later. But I won’t kill myself tonight, I promise.
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What is the best way to kill yourself? By best, I mean quickest and least painful. Anyone know?
I’m going to see the girl that means the world to me tomorrow.
I’m more excited about the prospect of killing ourselves together than I am about actually seeing her. Is that bad? Probably. Oh well. I hope she wants to kill herself too so this can actually happen and she won’t try and convince me not to. I’m also hoping she’ll want to travel the world with me before we do it, but if she just wants to do it tomorrow night or sunday, I’d be totally good with it.
I know exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life. I want to drop out of school and travel the world, going to the most well known cities of Europe, Asia, Australia, and Africa with my Maggie. After that, I’d want us to come back to the Americas, maybe go do a tour of South America also, and finish off with a tour of the USA and Canada. Once we’ve seen almost all of the world, we’d go to the Grand Canyon and jump in it together. A glorious end to a glorious year of traveling the world with a glorious girl.
The one thing I’m not sure about is having a baby. My parents really want grandkids and I’m not sure if my brother will ever have kids or even get married. Plus, I’d kind of like someone to survive Maggie and I. I have to see what she thinks of everything and if having a baby would change anything I wouldn’t want to do that.
Plus, I’m not sure if she’s as depressed as me and would even want to commit suicide. I’m going to ask her this weekend about all of this and hopefully she feels the same way about it. If she doesn’t want to commit suicide with me, I hope she’ll at least want to take a gap year in school and come through Europe with me. We’ll see in like 2 days!!
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